Dungbomb Night Gone Wrong
by BeanMaster
Summary: Fred and George decide that tonight is the night for the famed Dungbomb night, which of course was made up by them. All goes well, until Filtch catches them . . .  Rate T just in case
1. DunbBombs and Detentions

**A/N: The first chapter in the story is right below these words. Read on. This chapter was quite easy for me.**

**Disclaimer: The song in the story is a parody of the song Dynamite, I do not claim the song Dynamite, and I do not claim anything Harry Potter, that belongs to JK Rowling.**

Fred slumped down on an overstuffed chair dropping his bags and books over the side. He pulled at the collar of his cloak, trying to cool off after hurrying between classes all day.

Fred reluctantly pushed his chair up to a table, snatched a stack of papers from his bag, and half-heartedly tried to do his homework. He nearly finished a paragraph of his potions essay when George came over from a separate table.

"Dinner time mate," he said. "Save that for later."

Fred gladly stuffed his essay back into his bag. He stood and grabbed his other things.

"Thank Merlin, I though it'de never be—" He paused when his hand brushed something in his bag.

George looked at Fred, quizzically.

"Never be..?" He said.

"Time." Said Fred, pulling a round shaped item out of his bag.

"Ge?"

"Yeah?"

"Any pranks planned for tonight?" Said Fred, looking at the object with a grin.

"No," said George. "Nothing planned 'till next week, why?"

Fred held up the item for George to see.

"Ge, I think it's dungbomb night.

Fred led George to the entrance to the Great Hall. He shifted the sack on his shoulders, which was filled with every dungbomb he could find in fifteen minutes.

"We're prob'ly gonna get detention for this, you know…" Said George, shifting a bag similar to Fred's.

They starred at each other for a few seconds before bursting in to loud guffaws.

Fred peered around the giant doors into the Great Hall, still chuckling.

"Everyone's in their seats," said Fred. "It's now or never."

Fred and George both loosened the ties of their sacks.

"Read?" Said George.

"Ready."

They clutched their bags tight, tensed, and leaped out into the entryway. Fred nodded at George, and they started to sing-

"Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey

Hey all you fans-fans-fans-fans

We got some goodies in these bags-bags-bags-bags"

They danced down the aisles, swinging their bags, everyone's eyes glued to them.

"In them're all our favorite brands-brands-brands-brands

Let's let 'em loose just like we planned-planned-planned-planned

Yeah, yeah"

Fred and George jumped up on the Hufflepuff table, dodged a few angrily thrown éclairs, and continued singing.

"Turn them on and on and on

And turn those on and on and on

YEAH!"

They opened the bags, pulled out handfuls of dungbombs and proceeded to hurl them in random directions.

"We throw dungbombs in the air sometimes

Sayin' ay-oh

Let them all go!

It's time to celebrate dungbomb night

Sayin' ay-oh

Let the stench flow"

Lee Jordan scrambled onto the Hufflepuff table, and joined Fred and George in the singing and dungbomb hurling.

"Cuz we gon' rock this hall

Yeah we gon' go all night

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night

Yeah we threw some once

And we threw some twice

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night!"

By now the teachers had organized themselves, and were working their way through the flailing students. Fred, George, and Lee started to back towards the door, hoping to make a quick getaway when the time was right.

"You'd better move-move-move-move

Get out of the way of flying poo-poo-poo-poo

Watch that bomb as it flew-flew-flew-flew

To land splash in Snape's stew-stew-stew-stew

Yeah, yeah"

They took careful aim now, as most of the bombs had been used.

"Throw them at Ron and Tom and John

And throw 'em at Snape and Lee and Sean

Yeah"

Lee glared at George of Ge had thrown a dungbomb at him. He quickly forgot when they began singing again.

"We throw dungbombs in the air sometimes

Sayin' ay-oh

Let them all go!

It's time to celebrate dungbomb night

Sayin' ay-oh

Let the stench flow

Cuz we gon' rock this hall

Yeah we gon' go all night

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night

Yeah we threw some once

And we threw some twice

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night"

Fred, George, and Lee stood in the entry way, making a last stand before it was time to flee.

"When we've thrown them all

We'll be the last ones standing

They're gonna fall around but

Mine'll be the last one landing

Oh you can't believe it

You see them all fall, see them all fall

The smell of dung's in the air

Du'ungs in the air

Smell of dung in the air-air-air-air-air-air-air-air"

They raised the volume of their voices for the last chorus.

"We throw dungbombs in the air sometimes

Sayin' ay-oh

Let them all go!

It's time to celebrate dungbomb night

Sayin' ay-oh

Let the stench flow

Cuz we gon' rock this hall

Yeah we gon' go all night

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night

Yeah we threw some once

And we threw some twice

We gon' stink it up

Cuz it's dungbomb night"

"Hope you had a great dungbomb night," yelled Fred. "Cuz I sure did!"

Fred whipped around and shot down a hallway, headed for the Gryffindor Common Room.

He, George, and Lee paused in an empty class room to catch their breath after sprinting a good distance away from the angry crowds.

"That," said Lee, stopping to take in a breath, "Was the greatest prank so far!"

Fred chocked as he tried to talk, laugh, and pant at the same time.

"Yeah," He managed to say. "That was a pretty good one."

"What's really the best part of it is we didn't get caught!" Said George, through a wide grin.

"Oh dear, we _are_ in trouble." Came a voice from behind them.

Fred jumped, that voice, the voice of his school enemy.

The three turned, but too slowly, Lee and George fell to the ground, motionless. Fred was able to say something before he was hit with a spell.

"H-how?" He stuttered. "You're a squib!"

Filtch grinned at Fred, an insane, gleeful grin.

"Not anymore!" He said, flicking his wand.

Fred fell forward, and was able to see something inscribed on the side of Filtch's wand before he blacked out.

KwickSpell.

A/N**: There will be more chapters soon, so keep a look out on the story!**

**Thanks go to my sister; she did the most in making the parody.**

**BeanMaster** ©


	2. Escapes and Escapades

**A/N: Yeah, I know . . . I spent a while writing this chapter, although not many people should care too much, even though they cared enough to SUBSCRIBE but not REVIEW. . .**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim any of the stuff that belongs to other people.**

After what seemed less than a second, Fred opened his eyes. Everything was blurry, and the floor beneath him was cold. He sat up slowly, shaking his head to stop its spinning.

"Ah, you're awake." Someone said, close by.

"George?" Said Fred, as things became clearer. "Where are we, where's Filtch?"

"We're in Filtch's office," Said George. "And, at the moment, Filtch is off getting permission for some punishment I think."

Fred shook his head again, successfully riding his mind of the fogginess.

He quickly took in the cold office of Filtch, scanning for an escape.

"Have you checked the locks?" Said Fred, "And the drawers, for anything useful?"

"Nope," Said Lee, who was sitting in Filtch's office chair. "You came to moments after Filtch left."

Fred nodded. "Well, let's get to it."

He tried the door while George and Lee opened various drawers and cupboards. The door was locked, but Fred hadn't really expected Filtch to trust them enough to stay put and await their punishment.

He turned and said, "Find anything?"

Lee waved a magazine, which had a sparkling header of _KwickSpell _on the cover.

"This must be how Filtch's using magic." He said. "'Spells for Squibs,' it says here on the cover."

Fred nodded thoughtfully.

"That makes sense, _KwickSpell _etched into the side of his wand." He then turned to George.

"You find anything, Ge?"

"Nope, I din't find nuffin!" Said George, through a full mouth.

Fred and Lee stared at George.

"What the heck are you eating?" Said Lee.

George held up a plate, which had a partially eaten sandwich, and apple, and a pineapple piled on it.

"George! That could be poisoned!" Shouted Fred.

George laughed, "Why the bloody hell would Filtch poison his own lunch?"

"He wouldn't, "Said Lee. "Gimme something off that plate, I didn't get anything to eat any dinner!"

"Dibs on the apple!" Said Fred, snatching the red parcel off the plate.

Lee shrugged and took the pineapple.

As Lee hacked at the spiky fruit with his pocket knife, Fred opened a file cabinet, eating while he searched. His fingers flew over the separate documents, pulling up things, and occasionally pausing over interesting papers.

He was searching somewhere in the high P's when a certain piece of parchment caught his eye. It was labeled 'Parchment-enchanted (?)'.

"Enchanted parchment?" Fred said to himself.

He shrugged and stuffed it into a cloak pocket; it might be useful.

"Hey, I think I've found something!" Shouted George, from over by a set of shelves.

Fred and Lee hurried over as George pulled on the rope, and, soon enough, the bookcase swung open.

Cold air rushed out of the passageway, and Fred look sideways at George.

"Is this the best escape route?" He said.

"It's the _only _escape route," George replied. "Let's go, Filtch could be back any second."

The three stared down the passageway, none of the pulling together enough courage to step forwards.

Quietly at first, but steadily getting louder, came a _tap, tap, tap,_ from the hallway outside of Filtch's office. The door handle started to jiggle, as a key was put into it.

That was enough motivation for the three. Lee ran in first, followed by George, and finally Fred, who pulled the entrance closed with a _snap._

Fred turned from the door, to look at Lee and George.

"Well," He said. "It seems that we're to be using the passageway as out escape."

Fred pushed past George and Lee, and headed down the cold, echoing, passageway. Lee shrugged and, with George close behind, followed Fred.

They walked for barely a minute before they came to a fork in the passageway.

Fred stared left and right, and then said.

"Left or right?"

"Right." Said George.

"Left." Said Lee.

The two glared at each other.

Fred pulled a silver sickle out of a cloak pocket.

"Heads for right, tails for left, fair enough?"

"No!" Said George. "Everyone knows that a coin lands on tails seventy percent of the time!"

Fred sighed and flipped the coin.

"Right it is." He said, after the coin landed.

Lee frowned.

"You two just wait here," He said. "I want to look down the left passageway... just in case."

Fred and George waited, listening to the _clack, clack, clack, _of Lee's receding footsteps.

Fred pulled out the piece of parchment he'd nicked from Filtch's file cabinet, and started to examine it.

"Hey guys!" Came Lee's voice from down the passageway. "Come help me with this!"

Fred and George leapt to their feet, and rushed towards Lee's voice.

They soon came to a small door at the end of the passageway, where they found Lee trying to force a door open.

The parchment fell out of Fred's hands as he, and George, helped Lee to get the door open. With their combined strength, the door was quickly opened.

The first thing they saw was a stack of crates. The three rushed over and opened the closest one, which was empty. All of them were empty, except the last one at the bottom.

Fred shoved the lid off of the top of the last crate, and he, Lee, and George leaned forward.

Lee picked up an old snitch; its wings fluttered feebly.

George snatched up a stack of pictures, they all featured three (and an occasional extra) people, a boy with long black hair, another boy with pale skin and tired eyes, one with short blond hair, and one last one with crazy black hair, and glasses.

"Wonder who they were…" George said quietly.

Fred looked over George's shoulder, at the pictures.

"Look at the bottom." He said, after studying the pictures for a moment. "M.W.P. And P."

"Initials perhaps." Said Lee, who had wandered over.

"Maybe…" Said George. "Should we leave them here?"

"Yeah." Said Fred, after a pause. "They might come back and want them."

"I don't think anyone comes in here." Said Lee, kicking a crate, which caved in. "Look at the state of this stuff."

Fred surveyed the room. Lee was right, a cough in the corner was falling apart, old newspapers tacked on to walls, fading away.

Fred leaned forward and examined some writing on the wall that he hadn't noticed earlier.

Fred ignored George's searching, shuffling, noises, as he tried to decipher the words.

"I… solemnly swear that I am up to no good?" Fred read aloud. "Neat motto, too bad we didn't make it up, eh Ge?" He looked around.

"Ge?"

George was half-way in a crate, only his bottom half visible, as he riffled through the crate's contents.

Suddenly he surfaced, a tattered book clutched in one hand.

"Look at this." Said George, attracting Lee's attention. "Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prong's Book of Mischief." George read off the cover. "Sounds interesting."

"Let me see it." Said Fred, snatching the book out of George's hand.

He opened it, ready to take in its contents, when a steady stream of popcorn shot out of the open book, and into Fred's face.

Fred slammed the book shut, his face turning red when Lee and George burst into loud guffaws.

"It's not funny." He said, glaring at the two.

"You're right," Laughed Lee, "But your face sure is!"

George and Lee laughed even louder at this statement.

Fred muttered a few curse words, before returning his attention to the book.

"Book of mischief…" His eyes wandered over to the words on the wall.

Fred pulled out his wand, ignoring the laughter from George and Lee, and said.  
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Whilst taping the book's cover.

He aimed the book at George and then opened it.

"Hey, that's cool!" Said George, staring at the book's insides.

Fred slammed the book, turned it, and then opened it, only to be met by a stream of popcorn.

"Oh, Hahaha!" Laughed Lee, "That just gets, hehe, better each time! Do it again!"

Fred glared at Lee, and then repeated the wand taping and up-to-no-good swearing. He opened the book again, to the first page, and read 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'. There were two symbols next to it, and a few numbers. A book, with a one next to

it, and something that looked like a map, with a three next to it.

"A map," Wondered Fred, aloud, "Or maybe…parchment!"

He picked up the parchment, from its place by the door, and tapped his wand on it three times saying.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Words and lines spread across the parchment, the words spelling 'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, are proud to present the Marauder's Map."

Fred opened it as George and Lee walked over, now interested.

"What's that?" Said Lee.

"Marauder's map," Said Fred. "Whatever that is."

"Look!" Said George, pointing with a dungbomb he must've collected from a crate. "That looks like the Gryffindor tower… and there's the Great Hall!"

"It's a map of Hogwarts." Said Lee.

Fred looked over the map, watching some dots move across the paper.

"What're those moving things?" He said.

George looked closely.

"Names, and footprints," He said, "Maybe they match up with the real people!"  
Fred looked at the map with awe, all the mischeiful things he could do with it spinning through his mind.

"Maybe we're on it." Said Lee. "Open it up a bit more."

Fred pulled on a few edges, revealing more of the map.

The three scanned the paper silently, until George pointed.

"There we are."

Fred stared at the three names, and lifter a foot experimentally, a little shoeprint disappeared.

"Let's use it to get out of here." Said Lee.

Fred nodded.

"Right, all we got to do is…"

Fred stopped talking, staring at a name.

"Filtch…" He read off. "He's found out where we've gone, he's coming!"

**A/N: There it is! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**BeanMaster **©


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